“Fuck, I’m so happy you said that ’cause I would hate to have to drag you to that wedding,” he says and I laugh while I kiss him out on that beach where I first dreamed of him. A star twinkles in the sky, celebrating with us.
“Shh,” I say while I rock my son, Carter, to sleep. He just turned eighteen months, and his teeth are coming in. “Don’t wake Mommy,” I tell him as he looks up at me with my green eyes.
“She isn’t feeling well,” I tell him. She has been nauseated for the past couple of weeks, and I immediately thought she was pregnant. It seems that I was right. We found out three days ago we are expecting another baby. I smile as I think about her eyes when the plus sign showed up on the test. “I’m giving you another brother or sister,” I tell him.
He loves his mom and dad, more mom than dad, but the love he has for his sisters is something so fierce. No matter where they are, he wants to be there. Lizzie is more understanding than Daisy, who still doesn’t understand why he just can’t poop in the potty. Or why he goes in her room and touches her things. She asked for a lock for her eighth birthday. I shake my head. “What do you want?” I ask him. “Do you want a brother to even things out or would you like another sister?” I ask him, and he looks at the door, expecting them to be there.
“Izzy?” he says his name for Lizzie. “Dayday?” he says for Daisy.
“Yeah, buddy, I know, but you have to go to sleep,” I tell him as he chews his pacifier. He looks at me, his eyes getting heavier and heavier as I continue rocking him long after he falls asleep.
“You going to come back to bed?” my wife asks from the door. Yeah, something I didn’t wait long on to put that ring on it. So in front of our family and friends on a beautiful sunny day, she walked down the aisle with her girls next to her, and I vowed to love them all.
“I’m afraid to put him down,” I tell her, and I have to say my kids are my weakness. A tear, a pout, or a sad face, and I’ll give you whatever you want.
“Blake,” she says, “he’s sleeping. Put him down.” I get up and place him gently in his crib and walk to my wife.
I get into bed behind her and wrap my hands around her stomach. If I didn’t know better, I would think she’s further along because she already has the small pouch. She falls asleep right away while I listen to her breathe. “I love you,” I whisper to her. “Thank you for making my broken whole,” I say, and just like that, I follow her into my dreams.